Get clear answers.
Do you provide extended therapy, retreats or intensives?
Yes. Sometimes couples need more than one session per week, specially if they are in crisis. You can learn more about my Private Couple Retreat at this link.
What if I struggle with DEPRESSION OR ANXIETY?
If you are in a significant relationship, one of the best ways to deal with the depression is through Couples Therapy for Depression. I work closely with both partners to bring the depression under control while working on improving how you and your partner interact.
Will talking about a problem just make things worse?
You're probably asking this question because that is exactly what has happened. I work really hard to help you constructively handle reactivity and negative emotions. You will learn a highly structured way to talk that will feel different and hopefully safe. Conversations should shift from a battleground to a safe and productive place to connect.
What if our problems have gone on so long there's no way to fix them?
Research shows that on average couples endure six years of marital distress before seeking counseling. Nonetheless, therapy is very effective in dealing with long-standing problems by helping you try something different (as opposed to just trying harder). No matter how long you have been struggling, if you are willing to try, there is hope.
Will you tell us whether we should stay together or break up?
I am a "marriage-friendly" therapist and thus focus on restoring your relationship to full health. My goal is to guide you toward healing as long as you are willing to work at it. Nonetheless, if your decision is to end the relationship, I will fully honor the decision and support you. Staying together or breaking apart is simply not my decision to make.
Will I be blamed for all the problems?
Unless there is a severe case of neglect or abuse, you will not be labeled as "the problem". We will focus on the underlying cycles of interaction instead. Each partner has to become aware of his or her role in maintaining a pattern in order to break it. Even in cases of an affair, long-standing unhealthy patterns must be examined as contributing factors (but not as an excuse).
Is spirituality part of therapy?
First, please know that all you need to be in therapy with me is the desire to improve your lifelong patterns and the willingness to show up and have an open conversation.
What's the FIRST STEP to starting therapy?
The first step is to fill out the contact form at the bottom of this page. That will start our communication, typically by me responding with an email or giving you a call within 24 hours. It's really that simple.
What if we just come and argue in front of you?
fighting (quietly or loudly) and
withdrawing (not talking about what mainly concerns them).
too unheard to listen,
too misunderstood to be understanding, and
too hurt by what the other just said to do anything other than hurt back.
make acknowledgments of your mistakes,
reach out to the other with comfort, forgiveness and acceptance, and
look at things from the other’s point of view.
help you transform fights and withdrawals into recovery conversations
show how to build a higher platform from which to hold a conversation and
enable you to transform problems into intimate connection.
Will you make me cry?
I couldn't make you cry even if I wanted to!
About Dr. Motro
How are you different from other therapists?
Are we a good fit?
Can you refer us to a MEDIATOR OR DIVORCE ATTORNEY?
Although I love to help your fight for your marriage, if you decide to end the relationship, I will help you part amicably, keeping mutual respect as part of the process and remembering the needs of any children involved. Given this goal, I strongly recommend seeking a divorce mediator. Divorce mediation is a process that allows divorcing couples to meet with a specially-trained, neutral third-party to discuss and resolve common divorce-related issues. Mediation is typically much less stressful and less expensive than a divorce trial, and it usually proceeds much faster.
Adriana C. Moore
(408) 606-8493 or (650) 867-2432
Stan L. Bartelmie
1011 West Taylor Street, San Jose, CA 95126
Phone: 408.298.1585 Fax: 408-286-4142
Dina Hiddad, Divorce mediation attorney,
www.ffmediation.com, Families First Mediation
560 S. Winchester Blvd., Suite 500, San Jose, 95128
The Garden Alameda
1570 The Alameda, Suite 212
San Jose, California 95126
If you and your partner can not agree on mediation, I can recommend a divorce attorney who has been mentioned favorably by some of my clients:
551 Stockton Avenue, Suite A
San Jose, CA 95126
Can you recommend a couples therapist with LOWER FEES?
Some couples greatly desire counseling but financial circumstances may become an obstacle. For such couples, fill out the contact form below and share your need for lower fee counseling. Let me know how much you feel you can afford and I will try to match you with the right therapist.
Can you refer us to couple therapists who specialize in NEURODIVERSITY and/or ASPERGER'S?
I am fortunate to be part of a group of therapists that have formed the Neurodiversity Couples Counseling Center. We have come together to:
develop a robust set of tools to help neurodiverse couples,
approach neurodiverse healing from a strength-based approach,
share best-practices for neurodiverse therapy amongst the team so we can offer you a beneficial experience, and
offer integrated therapy where the couple and both individuals can each get their own counselor; yet, the therapy itself is synchronized to move to the same goals.
Can you recommend other COUPLES THERAPISTS?
Can you recommend a PSYCHIATRIST?
Dr. Nely Coyukiat-fu MD
Can you recommend skilled therapists to support us INDIVDUALLY while doing couples therapy (especially if there has been an affair or other betrayal)?
The following therapists are experienced in supporting you emotionally, helping you process your options, and understanding the work you need to do on your own to heal. I often consult closely with them (with your written consent) to build an integrated treatment plan: