California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT)
Affiliate of and Clinical Supervisor for the Christian Counseling Center of San Jose
GoodTherapy.org (Dedicated to preventing therapists from misusing power)
Proud Member of Marriage Friendly Therapists, LLC. I am a Pro-Commitment Marriage Friendly Therapist.
Adjunct Professor, Graduate School of Psychology, Western Seminary; Instructor for "Marriage and Couples Counseling" & "Family Systems Therapy"
Clinical Supervisor for Pre-licensed Marriage and Family Therapists
California Southern University - Doctor of Clinical Psychology (PsyD)
Santa Clara University – Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology (Marriage and Family Therapy program)
University of Virginia, Bachelor of Science
Board of Behavioral Science, State of California
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
My greatest treasure in life is my relationship with my amazing wife. She has challenged me to grow, stood by me through thick and thin, and rarely misses a chance to make me laugh.
We have been blessed to raise children together and to be part of a supportive local church family.
When I'm not pursuing my main passion of working with couples, I'm probably with friends roaming the redwoods on my mountain bike. I also love to create ART.
Why I Became a Couples Therapist?
My Motivation for Helping Couples
As I have watched marriages crumble throughout my life, I can't help but feel deeply saddened for all the pain that results. And not just for the unhappy couple, but for the entire family, especially little kids. A couple’s relationship sets the foundation for the next generation, for better or for worse. Yet many of us are woefully unprepared for marriage. With the right help, so much can be done preventatively to build more successful marriages.
In my experience, divorce usually is an AVOIDABLE loss of human potential. In highly conflictual marriages, divorce may feel like much-needed relief. On the other hand, research shows that, of the 40% of first marriages that end in divorce, only 10% of those divorces are the result of intolerable problems such as chronic infidelity, domestic violence, and unaddressed substance abuse.
The rest of those divorces are due to common everyday struggles which are can be overcome with solid guidance and hard work. I want to provide that guidance so you can steer clear of divorce and feel loved.
Personal Qualities That Can Help Others
Some of the qualities that clients, friends and family have noted in me are my abilities to love, to listen and comfort, to deeply experience empathy, to connect emotionally, to inspire and encourage, and to have an intuitive sense about people and their relationships. I am and have always been a people person, and find great joy in interacting with others. Few things are more energizing to me than being with people and learning about them.
And to be clear, I am not a shrinking violet. The traditional, passive marriage counselor who says "uh-huh, uh-huh" will be blown away with most couples in conflict. To manage marital combat, I get in there and mix it up with my couples but maintain a firm hand so it stays safe enough to be vulnerable. At the same time, I naturally see the good in others, and give them the benefit of the doubt, which can help lift them up and allow them to recognize their own strengths.
The Benefit of Life Experience
As a therapist who is 59 years old and married for 35 years, I have something else to offer - the lessons I've learned from my own mistakes. My hope is that all the grief; all the crises; all the painful lessons can be put to use. Everything I have gone through I bring in my soul to provide compassion and support for you.
One last thought. I am often amazed that people often come to me with deeply personal difficulties and crippling shame, often stemming from long-guarded secrets. The fact that people open up their lives and trust me is a big deal. It is my promise to you that I will honor your willingness to be open and treat you with tenderness and care.